Ragin'

I just got done listening to Rage Against the Machine after a long days work. You know, Rage just soothes the soul, especially after a shitty day of work. Any song that ends with shouting "F@#* you I won't do what ya tell me!" over and over again will instantly relieve any anger or built up pressure you may have been suppressing throughout your day. Sometimes people are douchebags. But you can't tell them. You can't let them know how selfish, retarded, stupid, or even how ugly they are. This is why I do something I call 'Ragin' at the end of some days. Ragin' consists of driving in your car or relaxing in your room blasting RATM and singing along. Rage is always singing about some kind of injustice in the world, why not sing along and add all the injustices that have happened to you and let the power of music ease your burdens? We can't all write our own songs with the word genius of Zach de la Roca or shred on the guitar like Tom Morello can, but when I am rockin' out and Ragin', I feel like they wrote certain songs just to describe how my life sucks sometimes. By the way, Zach's new stuff with "One Day as a Lion" is not that great. I mean, the lyrics are still pretty cool, but he just isn't the same without Tom. That guy does some crazy stuff on his axe. Anywho, if anyone still reads this blog, try it sometime and see if it doesn't help you vent all of the things that you have been holding in for who knows how long.

Scorcher

I went and saw Tropic Thunder yesterday morning. Then I went and saw it again last night. It was pretty freaking hilarious. Jack Black plays "the comedian" playing a serious role for the first time in his career. Saddened that people only think he's funny because of his farts, he turns to drugs to satisfy his insecurities. And while the actors are dropped in the middle of nowhere to film a war movie, his drugs run out and he has trouble dealing with his withdrawals, to say the least. Ben Stiller is an over the hill action star looking to get his career back on track after a horrendous performance in the drama, "Simple Jack". His commitment to the movie remains well after it is clear to the other actors that things have taken a serious turn for the worse and they are dealing with real drug dealers instead of hired Viet Cong locals. Robert Downey Jr. is one of my favorites in this film. The perennial allstar, Academy Award winning, philosophical acting genius who is well known for literally becoming the characters he plays, Downey's character, Lazarus, gets surgery to turn his skin from black to white to play the role of an African American sargeant. It is hilarious listening to him try to talk like a black man from the south throughout the movie. Even after he is convinced the movie has turned into reality, he never breaks character. Tom Cruise plays the financial backer of the film, Les Grossman. I think Cruise had a fun time playing the vulgar, eccentric, self-assured billionaire. You could see it in his eyes. He got to say things that most of us would love to say to the jerks we see every day but don't have the balls to say it. Things become hilarious when you see Cruise as a balding, overweight, extremely hairy middle-aged CEO berating the director of the film for his inadequacies as a film maker. All in all I thought this was a good movie with some hilarious parts in it. It kept me laughing even though some of the things said were deeply disturbing, the fact that I knew they were not serious made it okay in my head.

P.S. While working the other day, the most beautiful girl that I have ever seen came in with her mother and grandmother. Holy crap she was smokin'! Tall, slender, asian descent, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. So here I am, reaching out to you beautiful asian girl. If you read this and you were in Costco on 300 west in Salt Lake on August 12, 2008, I would love to take you out to lunch. Don't slap fate in the face and ignore this post script. I am the tall, ruggedly handsome, stand-up comedian/pilot/doctor that helped bag your food after it was purchased. I extend my hand out to you, will you take it. . .?

Crushin'

Here's what I'm spittin': After about four years on top as the undisputed best tennis player in the universe, Roger Federer is about to have his throne usurped by the one and only Rafael Nadal. The weird thing is, I'm okay with that. Rafa has shown that he is as classy as they come, and he has also proven hands down this year, that he is more than equal to the task of taking Roger's place as numero uno. For now. I say for now, because I have in no way counted the Swiss champion out. Pete Sampras, the well known second best tennis player in history, fell off the map once he won his twelfth grand slam title, and he went on to win two more. He did this as an old man. I have complete faith that while Roger has had an off year, he will undoubtedly work harder and have even more desire to reclaim his rightful place on the top of the tennis world. It will not be a walk in the park though. Rafa has worked hard to get where he is, and he will not take things lightly now that he has reached the top of the metaphoric mountain. He has the high ground now, and Roger is going to have to be amazing in order to return to the summit. I do have to say this, regardless of how the year ends, what Nadal has done this year rivals anything that Roger has done. He has made a name for himself, and all the greats of tennis past and present must show him the respect that he has earned, even in their great presence.

Pure Evil

I finally went and saw the new Batman a few days ago. I had pretty hight expectations. Everyone I knew was singing its praises. The commercials and trailers made it look like the action packed thriller I have been waiting for since the Bourne Ultimatum. I knew that Christian Bale would deliver, as he did in Batman Begins. Though the intensity of his "Batman voice" can sometimes be over-dramatic, his overall performance was superb. Definitely the best Batman to date. My main concern when first hearing about the movie was the choice of the actor to play the Joker. Heath Ledger did not seem like the ideal candidate. Then came the first movie trailers. My worries left, never to return. After seeing the film, here is what I have to say about the Joker and Heath Ledger's performance. He was pure evil. He was creepy, he was disturbing. His blatant disregard for human life made him seem like an inhuman evil from an unseen world. His laugh sent chills up my spine and every time he talked, I felt like I was listening to Satan himself. My diagnosis of the Joker: I loved him. I couldn't get enough of his demented outlook on life. For some reason I wanted to see what boundaries he would break next. Ledger literally created an alter ego. It was not the young Aussie actor in that show, it was a being that can never exist in real life, because Ledger played him so perfectly. He was the star of the movie, no matter what others may say. And not just because he passed away before the movie opened. Regardless, my respect for the acting of Heath Ledger has been changed forever.

So I had to kill the guy, and the cops are still lookin' for him. . .

I just saw Kung Fu Panda tonight, and here is my diagnosis: it su---rprised me. I thought the movie was freaking hilarious. Jack Black shows that he can make people laugh to tears even when you can't see insane facial contortions or zaney body movements. He is just a funny guy. I am convinced that Black comes up with half of the things he says while he is chillin' in his casa eatin' a pie and most likely smokin' a doobie. Some of the stuff is definitely toned down to gain the family viewership, but overall I thought that most lines were written in a way that people of all ages would find them amusing. What's more, some of the fight scenes were actually very intense! I know that this is an animated movie starring animals that walk and talk, but they really got quite intense. And the showdown between the panda played by Jack Black and the evil, unstoppable ninja warrior snow leopard delivers as the epic battle one craves for to end the show. The voices of Angelina Jolie, Dustin Hoffman, Jackie Chan and Lucy Liu are also in the show, but other than Hoffman, you don't even really notice the others. All in all, it was one of the funniest shows I've seen in the recent past, animated or not.

You may be wandering what is with the title of this blog. I saw a Seinfeld today and Kramer and Jerry are at the movies and see a guy they don't want to talk with. Jerry says, "Act like we're talking." Kramer: "We are talking." Jerry: "Act like it's interesting!" Kramer (overly loud so the intruder can hear): "So I had to kill the guy, and the cops are still lookin' for him. . ." That is what is with the title.

Here's What's On My Mind

First and foremost, I finally saw Ironman, and it is super badass. Robert Downey Jr., a man who I have never felt was any more badass than King Friday of the Land of Makebelieve on Mr. Roger's Neighborhood, blew me away with his humor as well as his decision to go straight to the cause of his upset conscience and blow it to hell. He did kind of bother me as the guy who has no respect for women at all, but since he is smart, rich, and super cocky, women cannot resist spending the night with him. This is not a strike against RDJ, but women in general. They are not attracted to men who have interested in them, they are only attracted to men who treat them like they are objects of desire and lust and nothing more. Or maybe all women are simply just not interested in me. Speaking of said objects, Gwenyth Paltrow was looking very nice in this film. So, a movie that had every opportunity to be cheesey and extremely lame denied the humanly desire to be lazy and unremarkable and took the high road to greatness, humor, and entertainment.

Speaking of the common human shortcoming of laziness, people need to check themselves. Recently I began working at a well known warehouse store as a cart wrangler. It is amazing how many douchebags simply leave their carts in the middle of the parking lot, or even better, as far away from the store as possible. How inconsiderate can you be? Holy crap people, is it really that tough to push your cart ten feet and put it in its properly marked place? You pushed it all over the store and out to your car, can't you push it just a little further? Seeing this has made me look at other aspects of my life and caused me to ask myself, "Am I being considerate to other people?" I'm not saying I am a saint, but I have been trying to show other people a little consideration rather than treating them like they don't matter. It's something to think about. . .

Badass

In reading the blogs posted on croonies.com the word 'badass' has come up a plethora of times. This has caused great reflection in my mind about the most badass movies that I have seen. While I have not yet seen Ironman, that will not be on the list, but I do have a couple I think all would agree are badass. Here are my top three.

Coming in at number three: Four Brothers. A tale of four hardened young orphans who grew up in a foster home with a kind and loving foster mother. Their mother had found permanent homes for hundreds of other children, these four were the only kids too wild and out of control to find a home for, so she kept them and raised them herself. When she is murdered, the four come back to town, and when the police don't work fast enough, they start an investigation of their own. Mark Wahlberg gives his usual 'mess with me, I'll break your face performance' and leads his three other 'brothers' down a trail of deceit, bribery, corruption, and murder that leads back to a local gangster, Victor Sweets. Talk about a tale of shoot first and ask questions later. Model/actor/musician Tyrese delivers a believable performance as a tough black man from the hood, though he does tend to overdo it at times. Andre 3000 from Outkast nailed his role as the sensible family man who seems to be the only brother to have made anything out of himself. And Garrett Hedlund rounds the list off as the kid punk-rock brother trying to show his older siblings he can bang and brawl with the best of 'em. An action packed thriller from beginning to end, this film definitely qualifies as badass.

Second place on my list is a film that perhaps not a lot of people remember: Tombstone. Kurt Russell plays Wyatt Earp, retired Kansas lawdog looking to leave his past and become rich in the mining town of Tombstone, Arizona. Along with his brothers, Virgil and Morgan, and their wives, they buy a share of a local saloon and set up shop. A gang called the Cowboys is prevalent in Tombstone. These guys are above the law and do what they please whenever they please. So when Wyatt's brothers accept positions as town sheriffs, Cowboys and Earp's clash. In the infamous shootout at the O.K. Corral, the Earp's, accompanied by Doc Holliday (Val Kilmer), kill numerous Cowboys. In revenge, the Cowboys kill Wyatt's younger brother Morgan, and attempt to kill is older brother Virgil and their wives. What follows is the definition of badass. Wyatt and Doc assemble a posse and go on a Cowboy killing spree. Perhaps the most badass moment of the film is when Doc Holliday confronts Cowboy leader Johnny Ringo in a showdown to end all showdowns. While this film is totally badass, the first half can move a bit slow, causing it to come in second to the most badass film of all time. . .

The Departed. That's right, I know you knew it was coming. How could this movie not be number one? It is filled with hardened gangsters, corrupt cops, clean cops, under cover agents on both sides of the law. It's got suspense that will raise your blood pressure to the point of exploding! How good is this movie? I watched the whole movie, then watched the theatrical trailer right after, and that made me want to immediately watch it again! Martin Scorsese showed once more that he is the master of mob, murder, and mayhem. Jack Nicholson was a perfect, evil, gangster genius who couldn't be touched by the cops. Matt Damon performed amazingly as the undercover rat for Nicholson in the state police department. This film made me realize that Leo DiCaprio can be more than just a chick-flick posterboy, he can downright act. Throw in a little comic relief from Alec Baldwin and the most badass of all, Mark Wahlberg, and how could this not be the most badass movie in the world? Even the soundtrack was badass. Everytime the Dropkick Murphy's Irish rock plays it sends shivers up my spine. Though Scorsese has directed some good films in his life, including Goodfellas, I have to say that this is his best film ever.

And there you have it folks. Don't like it, feel free to comment. You won't change my mind, and you'll be wrong, but if you gotta get something off your chest, feel free.