Bitch

So lately things have been pretty depressing in the female department for me. I broke up with my girlfriend, an awesome gal, but I just wasn't feelin' it. I'm not the kind of guy to have a girlfriend just for the sake of having a girlfriend, so I had to break things off. What's more, I recently discovered that a former love interest is engaged. No, not to me, but to another man. One word enters my mind: bitch. This has happened to me approximately four times now. It seems that I am only satisfied with girls who have absolutely no interest in me at all. I must ask: What is not to like? I am freaking hot, with long, luscious locks of hair that I keep shiny and wavy (I spent six bucks on shampoo, which is roughly six times what I usually pay). I think it is true what they say, treat a girl like shit and she'll come back for more, but treat her like a princess and she'll take you for granted and crush you without explaining why. This also leads me to believe that my ex-girlfriend can only be thinking one thing about me: asshole.

Which brings me to my next point: I have given up on finding another gal by myself. I am what the government would call a discouraged dater. I have no hope of finding the right girl for me, so I sit at home, wallowing in self pity and oggling the hotties on the E network. I would make a plea to all those who read this blog, but since that only adds up to about two people, I feel such a plea would be in vain. So here is a big f--- you to all those who are happily involved in a relationship. In the words of Happy Gilmore, "Suck my white ass every girl I have ever wanted!"